Meditation To Die
by Christian Bernal
-
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about
Another one I don't know quite how to categorize.
I never really wanted to write about this stuff- but it just kind of fit, or forced, itself in, in a weird way. Now after spending so much time nurturing this to completion, I can't help but love it.
I've had that shadow of suicide following me most of my life. As a kid, before I realized my father had a gun in the house, my mother told me some story of some guy getting stabbed, and either he was a martial arts "master" of some kind, or a yogi, or some shit- but the story was that he was stabbed, and through meditation, was able to stop, or slow, the flow of blood to that part of his body, long enough that he was able to get himself to the hospital, and save his life.
Somehow in my child mind, I determined that if that was possible, surely it was possible to just stop the flow of blood to the heart all together, and that through meditation, I would be able to commit suicide simply through sheer will, and self loathing.
I have since tried looking up that story- but Im pretty sure it was one of those "urban myths". Like most of those, there may have been some shred of truth to the story, but obviously, as I got older I realized, if it was real in any way- dude just remained calm.
I usually try to add some reference as to what artists, or songs, I think influenced each piece- but I can't really pinpoint any one piece or artist for this one- when it comes to the vocals, Bathory comes to the forefront for me, and I slipped in with the 2-String slide bass, so my normal Morphine/AKACOD influence is there as well. There may be some Lord Have Mercy, and a small hint of Celtic Frost in the outtro, but other than that, this song is about as alien to me as anyone else.
I never really wanted to write about this stuff- but it just kind of fit, or forced, itself in, in a weird way. Now after spending so much time nurturing this to completion, I can't help but love it.
I've had that shadow of suicide following me most of my life. As a kid, before I realized my father had a gun in the house, my mother told me some story of some guy getting stabbed, and either he was a martial arts "master" of some kind, or a yogi, or some shit- but the story was that he was stabbed, and through meditation, was able to stop, or slow, the flow of blood to that part of his body, long enough that he was able to get himself to the hospital, and save his life.
Somehow in my child mind, I determined that if that was possible, surely it was possible to just stop the flow of blood to the heart all together, and that through meditation, I would be able to commit suicide simply through sheer will, and self loathing.
I have since tried looking up that story- but Im pretty sure it was one of those "urban myths". Like most of those, there may have been some shred of truth to the story, but obviously, as I got older I realized, if it was real in any way- dude just remained calm.
I usually try to add some reference as to what artists, or songs, I think influenced each piece- but I can't really pinpoint any one piece or artist for this one- when it comes to the vocals, Bathory comes to the forefront for me, and I slipped in with the 2-String slide bass, so my normal Morphine/AKACOD influence is there as well. There may be some Lord Have Mercy, and a small hint of Celtic Frost in the outtro, but other than that, this song is about as alien to me as anyone else.
lyrics
I turn the tempo down
I feel the red run slow
i dream about my life
I dream of letting go
(Chorus)
Oooh, lord
Won't you take me tonight
Oooh, god
I just wanna die
Oooh, lord
Won't you hear my
Oooh, god
Meditation to Die
Im looking deep inside
Im turning off the lights
Rooms darken one by one
No more electric hum
(Chorus)
Give me the mask
Gasping
Why
Who
You're not
Give me a hand
to my feet and stand
raise up my fist and read out loud
from my list
of demands
and unveil my plans
for world domination
If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than
you can
possibly
imagine
oh, man
here I go again
with the letter "N"
Let me see if I can put this into words
that you'll understand
The story at hand
is about a young man
attempting to end his life
through the practice of meditation
Admittedly not a foolproof plan
by any stretch of the imagination
But he thought it would stand to reason
that if a man
could get stabbed
and divert the flow of blood away from the wound long enough to get his ass to the hospital
then stopping the flow should at the very least be probable
So he closed his eyes
quieted his mind
looked deep inside
and said to the sky
(Chorus)
I feel the red run slow
i dream about my life
I dream of letting go
(Chorus)
Oooh, lord
Won't you take me tonight
Oooh, god
I just wanna die
Oooh, lord
Won't you hear my
Oooh, god
Meditation to Die
Im looking deep inside
Im turning off the lights
Rooms darken one by one
No more electric hum
(Chorus)
Give me the mask
Gasping
Why
Who
You're not
Give me a hand
to my feet and stand
raise up my fist and read out loud
from my list
of demands
and unveil my plans
for world domination
If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than
you can
possibly
imagine
oh, man
here I go again
with the letter "N"
Let me see if I can put this into words
that you'll understand
The story at hand
is about a young man
attempting to end his life
through the practice of meditation
Admittedly not a foolproof plan
by any stretch of the imagination
But he thought it would stand to reason
that if a man
could get stabbed
and divert the flow of blood away from the wound long enough to get his ass to the hospital
then stopping the flow should at the very least be probable
So he closed his eyes
quieted his mind
looked deep inside
and said to the sky
(Chorus)
credits
released March 20, 2021
license
all rights reserved
tags
discography
-
Aug 2022 -
May 2021 -
May 2021 -
Mar 2021 -
Jan 2021 -
Oct 2020 -
Sep 2020 -
Aug 2020 -
Aug 2020
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